It could have been mortifying

We had a full weekend partying like it was 1999 with only one kid.  I am only slightly exaggerating.  When you’re married with three kids the term “party” takes on a whole new meeting.  Just getting out of the house with makeup on could be considered “partying,” for example.  Relaxing on the couch in a quiet house at 2:00 in the afternoon – PAR-TAY! 

So yes, relatively speaking, we were partying this weekend.  We even attended an actual party thrown by the lovely Kim, Jess and Gina.  This meant that we had a real life babysitter and we hung out with a group of people (90% of which were significantly younger than Lee) and played games and ate food and laughed a whole dang lot.

Then came the time change.  BAM-BAM-BAM.  I have been reading this book and, while I will admit I got increasingly frustrated with the author’s long windedness and his perpetual overdescription of things that weren’t pertinent to the story itself (it sucks to be an editor sometimes…it can really ruin the book reading experience) the story was still engaging enough that I was able to skim past the boring parts and keep pace with the action.  It was also engaging enough to keep me up until the wee hours of the morning.

So when I dragged myself out of bed Sunday morning, having lost not just one hour of sleep but multiple hours, I wasn’t feelin’ like the young hot mama that I actually am. 

I was a little nauseous, a lot tired and running very late as I had to be at church early to prepare to sing up front with the choir.  I got ready as fast as I could and rushed out the door like I do nearly every Sunday morning – without eating any breakfast. 

When I arrived at church, I joined the choir on stage to warm up and prepare for service.  I was exhausted, sluggish and increasingly nauseous.  In the five minutes between rehearsal and the service, I took a long drink of water and tried to get my heavy eyelids to quit fighting me.  Then service began and all was going well.  There was a girl who had recently joined choir standing beside me and I enjoyed getting to know her and singing alongside her.

About halfway through the first set, I opened my eyes and noticed a rather sizable crowd rushing up the center isle to the aide of someone who had apparently passed out and, upon falling, had cracked his head open.  We stopped the service so that he could be attended to and commenced in a little silent prayer time, which had been built into the service for that day anyway (how great is God?).  It was at this time that I myself started feeling more than nauseous.  I was light headed and starting to break out in  a cold sweat.

I sat down to pray and put my head down which seemed to help.  After a few minutes the paramedics arrived and while they were tending to the gentlman who fell, we began the service again.  I stood up by my new friend and instantly knew I was in trouble.  It started in the corners of my eyes.  The room was going black.  I took deep breaths and all I could think was Dear God please don’t let me pass out here in front of everyone while there are paramedics in the room.

Within seconds I knew I had to get out of there because I was going to hit the floor.  Like a bad movie, the blackness closed in and I started to sway.  I turned to my new best friend and heard her say with a bit of urgency, “Are you okay? You’re really white?”

And then it went completely black.  I couldn’t see anything at all.  And I was going to crumble. She grabbed my arm and walked me to the stage door, which mercifully wasn’t far because we were stading on the end.  I ran into the door because I couldn’t see anything at all and made it backstage before I fell.  She dragged me to the couch and pushed my head between my legs.  About thirty seconds later the blackness finally faded away and I could see again.  And a mixture of mortification and gratefulness set in.  I was mortified because I blacked out on stage. I was grateful because not many people noticed thanks to this girl’s quick reaction.  Ah! I would have been devastatingly humiliated had I hit the floor on stage.

A friend sitting in the congregation saw her lead me off stage and came back to check on me, then set off to find something for me to eat.  She found two pieces of Kraft American cheese which had a bad case of rigor mortis, but I ate them anyway and gulped down some water and tried to get the fuzzy feeling in my head to go away.

After sitting down for about 30 minutes, I did manage to go out and finish singing with the choir, but it took several hours for me to feel totally right again.  I’ve never had anything like that happen to me before (other than, you know, after having my blood drawn or a shot…ahem) and I can’t think of any reason as to why it happened yesterday other than apparently extreme fatigue coupled with low blood sugar were not a good combination.

Another possible reason was mentioned to me by more than one person and I know some of you are thinking that yourself with eyebrows raised.  Let me spare you the speculation…I do remember passing out two or three times when I was pregnant with Tia so I know that is a possibility, however slim that may be.  But there have been signs that lead me to believe that that, indeed, is not the case. 

And just to be sure, I took a test.  And I’m not pregnant so nobody go gettin’ all excited unless you want to rejoice with me that I’m not pregnant.  You can do a happy dance with me…

All I know is that while it was definately bizarre and embarrassing, it could have been terribly mortifying.  The whole morning was just a little bizarre.  And with that, I will head off to eat a little breakfast!