Things that made me laugh

They say that every time you laugh you burn, like, 100 calories or something like that. They also say that laughter produces endorphins, which, well I’m not exactly sure what those do, but it’s some pretty good stuff. So, today I pass on a little calorie burning, endorphin boosting good cheer to you all. Which, let’s face it, we could all use as we sit here and slowly freeze to death. But, despite the arctic temperatures, tomorrow is Friday and that’s something that makes me very happy.

– I was at the gym Monday morning, dragging myself through a half-arsed workout. While sitting on one of the cushy mats doing my abs, a middle aged man came strolling into the hallway and stopped just a few feet in front of me. He was putting on such a show of stretching and lunging that I couldn’t help but stare at him. He quickly stuffed his shirt into his pants and stood facing the wall, shaking his arms and rolling his head around like an Olympic sprinter getting ready to take his mark. Only this guy was not exactly built like an Olympian if you get my drift. The next thing I know, he throws his arms up and swings them forward and flips himself up into a handstand. Just as his feet hit the wall, his arms crumble beneath him and he lands on his head then slumps into a heap on the floor. For a split second, I was afraid he was hurt, but he quickly hopped back up and resumed his position of shaking and rolling and gave it another go, this time successfully making it into a handstand. The problem was that his hands were so far away from the wall that he was painfully arched backward trying to keep his balance. He grunted and groaned while I bit my lip very hard trying not to laugh out loud. Finally, he managed to get down without hurting himself and made a very hasty retreat. It was a very good time – for me, anyway.

– Sloan told me the other day that he can’t wait to grow up and be a daddy so that he can spank his sister. We had to have a little talk about that one.

– This morning, I took Tia and Landon to Shop ‘N Save while Sloan was at school. We weren’t just out of food – there were moths flitting out of my cabinets. It was bad. Which means I was in the store for a looong time. I didn’t make a list ahead of time, which was stupid, but it is what it is. So I had to keep shuffling through my coupons to see what I needed to get. It took so long that by the time I got to the check out, Landon was done and was letting me know by screaming his head off. I’m at Shop ‘N’ Save, remember? Which means I had to bag my own groceries. Oh, and did I mention it was only 3 degrees outside? So, Landon’s screaming and I’m throwing stuff in bags at warp speed when all of the sudden this little indian man who had been in line behind me walks up and starts dancing and singing. Landon stops and stares and I do too for a brief moment because when I say little, I mean little. He may have been a foot taller than Sloan and he was jirating and singing, trying to keep Landon calm. Once I was finished, he picked Landon up and handed him to me, then pushed my cart out and loaded my groceries into my car. So, I not only had a good chuckle, but also a warm fuzzy at his sincere kindness and generosity. Plus I saved thirty bucks with coupons.

The endorphins are flying, baby!