A Piece of My Daughter – Gone

*update: I have literally searched the internet until my eyes hurt and haven’t even found anything similar to lovey. Tia is doing alright, bless her heart, but she doesn’t understand. She keeps asking for lovey and can’t seem to understand that he’s lost. When we took LEe to the airport tonight, I asked Tia and Sloan if they wanted to go. Tia ran and got her shoes and came up to me grinning and asked (in Tia speech) if we were going to get lovey. Her little face was so expectant. I think she thought we were going to retrieve him and it broke my heart all over again. I have some women named Rosemary looking for me. She actually makes a living searching for lost loveys! Crazy. I called the hotel again about 20 minutes ago and got someone else who put me on hold to go check and see if anything had been found. Right afterward my phone disconnected and I haven’t been able to get through since. AAAAAGGHH! So, I’m keeping my fingers crossed that I’ll get through soon and she’ll magincally say she found him! No such luck – they do not have him but there is still the possibility that he got tangled up in the bedding. It will be a couple more days before they get all the linenes sorted out and washed so a tiny flicker of hope is alive. Hope with me, will you?

We went to SeaWorld this weekend. I’ll share more pictures later, but right now I’m so heartbroken I have to post this as a way to grieve. Tia got a little purple and white lovey bear when she was born and fell in love with it and since she was a little, little baby has carried it everywhere she goes. Lovey bear was a part of her and part of our life as I was CONSTANTLY looking for him. When she got hurt, she wanted lovey bear. When she was tired, she needed lovey bear. Lovey bear was her comfort. And as much as it annoyed me to have to search for him ten times a day, I loved lovey bear as much as her. But today, we lost our beloved lovey bear. And guess who’s struggling with it the most? MOMMY! I am just so sad, I’ve cried all afternoon. Every time I think about it or someone mentions it, my eyes well up with tears. I’m a mess! We think we left him in the hotel room in Orlando and we’ve called the hotel twice to talk with them about it. They’ve assured us that housekeeping will be on the lookout for the beloved bear but it could be a day or two, especially if he got stuck in the linens. She actually just came out of her bedroom asking for her lovey and she’s now laying in bed crying, and I’m bawling as I type this. I know that in the grand scheme of life this is not a big deal, but that little bear was a piece of her. It was a part of her babyhood and a part of who she was and I’m just so sad. I keep praying that the hotel will just call and say they found it, but I’m afraid that they won’t. I’ve spent a good hour scouring the internet for another one, but it’s been so long and it’s such a random little thing that I can’t imagine ever finding another one. But, if any of you are internet savvy, it was a purple and white Animal Alley panda lovey. And if you find one, I will literally be indebted to you for life. So, there it is. Today’s trauma. Here are a couple pictures of Tia and lovey that I took last week.