You WILL Love each other!

May 5, 2008 by
I’ve posted about this before, but honest to God, my kids fight so terribly that it wears me out and breaks my heart. I so want them to love one another and deep down I know that they do. Despite the fact that at any given moment, one of them is hitting or kicking or pushing the other and someone is crying, they both constantly want the other around to play with. It’s a strange dynamic. This morning, however, was a horrible morning. Both of them were being horrible to one another. Tia was annoying Sloan (sometimes legitimately, sometimes just by her very presence) and Sloan, the king of overreaction, spent the morning yelling at her. After telling them 800 times to keep their hands to themselves and quit screaming, I lost it. I don’t like being mean mommy and I work really, really hard at patience because I know it’s not a virtue that would best describe me. So, it’s not for lack of trying. But, when they woke Landon up from his nap, that was the straw that broke this mommy’s back! I sat them both down and in my semi-calm voice (I was borderline yelling, trying hard to hold back) explained to them that they will be brother and sister for life and they needed to start being more kind and loving toward one another. I could see that that was not working at all, so I moved to plan B. I made them sit on the ottomans facing each other and smile at one another for ten minutes. They were not allowed to get up, touch one another, or talk unless they had a nice thing to say to one another. If they broke any of those rules, I added time to the clock. I think they ended up sitting there for 13 minutes due to their apparent unruly feet that kept “accidentally” kicking the other person. Here is what they looked like in their time out:

I made them each say five nice things about the other. Sloan told Tia she had cute hair, pretty eyes, a cute nose, cool clothes and nice fingers. Because Tia still hardly talks she just kept saying “dis-ee-dow” over and over, which can mean a whole host of things. When their time was up, I made them hug and saying I love you (or dis-ee-dow one more time).I wish I could say this helped. They were nicer to each other for a few minutes after that, but it didn’t last long. Although this afternoon, Sloan was very sweet to Tia when she fell and scraped her knee, telling her over and over how sorry he was that she got hurt. That warmed my heart briefly. If only it would last! If anyone has any suggestions on how to handle incessent sibling fighting, I’m all ears!

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Comments

  1. Rebecca says
    May 5, 2008 at 11:18

    oh my gosh, with the day i’ve had i so needed to see that photo. i don’t know how to stay exhausted/frustrated/irritable when i see those two, sitting on those ottomans, with you in the background, demanding them to like one another. i love it.

  2. heresthediehl says
    May 5, 2008 at 11:18

    I have no ideas, other than to tell you that my mom used to make Jake and I hold hands when we fought with each other. Like until we were 12 or 13…it was so embarrassing.

    I’m looking forward to reading other moms’ responses! Cute pictures of them being loving and smily, though.

  3. blessedpath says
    May 5, 2008 at 11:18

    once again you made me laugh!! What an awesome idea to have them look at eachother for 10 min!! Unfortunately when Chase & Brooke are at eachother, I just make them both go separate ways for awhile. I guess that is just brotherly sisterly love at a young age….someday peace will prevail – promise!! Oh, by the way i’d much rather be running a doggie nursing home than a wrestle-mania!!HA_HA!!! You know I’m kidding Kelli!

  4. Melissa (aka Kitty) says
    May 5, 2008 at 11:18

    I’m taking notes. I love what Sloan told Tia. So cute. Nice fingers…I like that.

  5. A Buns Life says
    May 12, 2008 at 11:18

    I *think* my kids are getting to the point/age where I can “ground” them from each other for the morning, afternoon or whatever….a few of my other girlfriends have done this a few times and they said that it has worked wonders…..because ultimately they really are each others playmates for the biggest part of the day and if they can’t play with each other it would be very hard on them…and me too I’m sure, but hopefully would make them try harder to work their issues out the nexxt time around. 🙂