Sloan-isms

My boy (who’s almost SIX) has had a few great one liners lately. Enjoy the deep thoughts of Sloan Stuart:

Sloan: “Hey mom – you know what I’m the awesomest at?”
Me: “What?”
Sloan: “Oh, just about everything.”
Me: “You’re modest too.”
Sloan: “Yeah…Mom, what’s modest?”

One morning, after he crawled in bed with us at the crack of dawn, he started rubbing my face.
Sloan: “Mom, do you have sunscream on?”
Me: “No.”
Sloan: “Why is your skin so lotiony then?”
Me: “I put lotion on my face before I went to sleep.”
Sloan: “Oh. Is that to help you not look so old.”
I had no comment…

When I called about 5 days into my trip, I spoke with Sloan who is the only child who apparently missed me while I was gone…
Sloan: “Mom, where are you?”
Me: “I’m in South Caicos.”
Sloan: “What are you doing in South Caicos?”
Me: “I’m just looking around.”
Sloan: “Okay, um…this is getting a little weird. When are you coming home?”

After I returned home, I enjoyed some sweet snuggles with my oldest. As we cuddled up he gave me a kiss on the cheek.
Sloan: “Mom, I missed you so much.”
Me: “I missed you too, buddy.”
Sloan: “You know mom – I always loved you. Like, always…”

And finally – A couple of weeks ago as I was folding laundry, Sloan pulled out one of my bras and held it up.
Sloan: “Mom – when I grow up and turn into a girl, will I wear a nest holder like this?” (he still calls the female chest a nest – at what age do you think I should correct him? Never? Oh good, that’s what I was thinking...)
Me: “Honey, you’ll always be a boy – you will never be a girl.
Sloan: dropping my bra and clapping his hands together as though they were dirty – “Oh good, because that does not look comfortable.”

I seriously don’t know where he comes up with some of this stuff…