I never fancied myself much of a worrier. In general I don’t get too worked up over things. I may have a brief moment or so, when worry starts to overtake me, but I don’t usually dwell on it and, therefore, haven’t had to suffer many side effects of worrying.
Until recently, when cicadas began falling from the sky in droves and we got a contract on our house.
This process of moving out of our house has proven to be more stressful than I thought. I didn’t realize I was stressing out about it until the last few days when my stomach tied itself in a knot and my head began to pound. Yesterday, my neck began tightening up. I believe it happened sometime during my conversation with a storage facility. We are beyond blessed to have been able to sell our house for almost what we asked for it. But…
We don’t have another house to go to as of now. So we’re storing our stuff and staying at my parents apartment until we figured some things out. Another huge blessing! So I don’t know why my body is shutting down on me. My brain is fried, my neck literally will not turn and despite being wickedly tired I cannot sleep as I think of all the things I need to do during this rather bumpy transition.
What do we do with the dog?
What do I do about the mail?
You mean we need a new furnace?
How much will it cost to move twice?
Where do we store the piano?
You mean we need a new roof?
On top of those questions, I am also beginning to mourn leaving this house. I am a sap – a sentimental, emotional sap. Those who know me well know that, while I love a good adventure, change has never been my strong suit. This house is our first house. It’s the place we brought all our babies home to. It’s where first steps, first words and a mountain of other firsts occurred.
It’s home.
This neighborhood is wonderful. There are kids galore, all of whom are my children’s ages. I think of the little girl next door who taps on our back door every day to play. Sometimes (or a lot of times) it annoyed me, but she and Tia are the exact same age and I’m sad that they will no longer have each other as instant playmates.
I’m just kind of sad. And stressed out.
I know that this too shall pass. This flux of not knowing what comes next will be short lived. I’m not worried about the future. I know we’ll find a new house to make memories in and a new neighborhood with friends to meet. But it’s the interim that has, apparently, seized the muscles in my neck and chosen not to let go.
So on we go, marching forward to June 30 when we will say goodbye to the place where we became a family of five. What does God have next? We simply don’t know. I hope, for my sake, His plan includes some muscle relaxers and a massage…
And now, random pictures that have nothing to do with this post, but I just got some great shots yesterday and want to post them.
Change is always stressful. And it usually includes some nostalgie for the things we leave behind. But ahead of you is a new phase with lots of fresh memories you will cherish. Just make a deep breath and be ready for the change. Don’t be scared of it and don’t ask too many questions. The things will solve themselves one by one.
We were set to move on January 9 of 2011. In November of 2010, my left eye started to twitch violently. I slept less and less with each passing week. I walked around aimlessly waiting for the packers to arrive. I cleaned like a mad woman, throwing things out left and right, selling stuff on craigslist. It wasn’t fun.
Thankfully, my eye stopped twitching in January. The movers came and somehow it happened. We move clear across the country. It was a blur.
But I won’t forget the stress.
Praying for you lady. All you can do is live through it. And take advil and a sleep aid. Not kidding.
I did this once, but it was AFTER we moved. My husband literally had to roll me out of bed, and sit me on the couch and leave my 2 month old in my lap so I could nurse as needed (3 year old was on her own). Then, I began the long day of waiting for a spot to open up at a massage therapist. LONGEST. DAY. EVER. Hope you get better!
I’ve known for awhile that you were trying to sell your house, but somewhere I missed the why.
So, Why? 🙂
And sorry about your neck.
So many reasons that I can’t really explain. And thanks. It actually feels a little better today. 🙂